Book Review: “To Be Told: Know Your Story, Shape Your Future” by Dan B. Allender. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press, 2005, 227 p.

Overview—Give a brief overview of the book, including its theme, perspective and approach.

"To Be Told" is Dan Allender's plea to see God as the author of our life who writes each person's story to reveal his divine story. We are urged not to see our lives as random scenes but as the unfolding of God's narrative. As we begin to understand our life story we then join God as a coauthor. Finally as we share our stories with others and listen to theirs, we understand our role in God's greater story. Allendar presses these points home with personal reflections and real life narratives.

Critique—Offer a brief critique of the book, including elements of strength and weakness.

Allender is a solid writer with a flair for the extravagant ("and [God] roars in anger with us and calls us to take up his sword to wage war against that which broke our heart." p.172) and the mystical ("As hunger swirls and the early storm of fasting begins to brew, we have an opportunity to sit in and with our body." p.189). This makes "To Be Told" a compelling read. But at times the melodrama wears a bit thin and one wonders if we are not bordering on self-absorption. Allender is strongest in the early sections of "To Be Told" where the reader is encouraged to stop and think about how the stories of his life have shaped him and fitted him for the future God has for him. Yet I often thought of Chesterton's dictum, "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly". We are happiest when we are most self-forgetful.

Application—Offer some specific application to your own ministry— demonstrating the value and relevance of the material in this book.

I found Allender's emphasis on telling our stories to be compelling. We reveal who we truly are by the stories of our lives. I was challenged to draw the stories out of those around me so that our relationships would go deeper than just surface conversation. And I am looking forward to "listening to what moves me" more deeply. His distinction of the ideal self, the ought self, and the real self deserves fuller explanation. And his distinction of Theme and Mission was thought provoking. But that is one of the book's weaknesses. Allender challenges us to write and discover our stories, but I kept asking "How"? Some practical examples or samples of other's work would have been helpful here.

Best Quote—Be sure to include the page number where the quote can be found.

p. 22 "The ending of my story is how I lived my life toward an aim, a finish that is worth both dying for and living for. If I live my life for me alone, then my story is as dull as my self-absorption, even if I have survived untold adventures. But if I live my life for Someone more important than myself and I have sacrificed, noble risked, been humbled, learned, grown, and given, then my life is heads toward a glorious ending."

Book Review: “False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction” Harry Schaumburg. Colorado: NavPress, 1997, 247 p.

Overview—Give a brief overview of the book, including its theme, perspective and approach.

In this book, Harry Schaumburg presents a comprehensive study of sexual addictions and the road to freedom. As the title suggests, "False Intimacy" sees the power of sexual addictions as offering a false intimacy that each of us crave. For Schaumburg, true freedom lies in developing true intimacy with God and with others. Relational pain will then no longer drive the addict to false expressions of sexuality. "False Intimacy" offers the reader an examination of sexual addictions, their behaviors and their causes. Schaumburg then offers hope to affected by addiction, including spouses and the church.

Critique—Offer a brief critique of the book, including elements of strength and weakness.

"False Intimacy" is perhaps the most complete book on the subject I have read so far. Schaumburg integrates insights from psychology and behavioral studies with a rich theology of intimacy with God. He does not shy away from calling the addict to true repentance form the "idols of the heart". But such repentance is not complete without a look to internal and external factors that led to the sexual addiction, including personal history and interior motivations.

Application—Offer some specific application to your own ministry— demonstrating the value and relevance of the material in this book.

Schaumburg offers many practical ways to help the person struggling with addictions. I found the section on reviewing one's personal history - breaking your history into segments and asking yourself probing questions about each segment – to be a powerful tool to uncover the roots of such addictions. And because sexual addictions go beyond the person struggling, the sections on helping the spouse of a sexual addict were hands-on helpful and sensitively written. But the section on the church as a healing community was my favorite and the questions for self-examination (p.209) will find their way into our small group discussions!

Best Quote—Be sure to include the page number where the quote can be found.

p.211 "Loving those who are sexually addicted in the power of God's love entails a process of offering them what is not deserved so they might be restored to our Lord, to others, and to us. Properly understood, love is the greatest gift each of us can offer. When love is given to those held captive by the sins of sexually addiction and spiritual adultery, it reaches out with God's power to astound sinners. It destroys the power of sin over their lives. It contradicts al the false intimacy within sexually addiction and calls forth sinners to express true love because the have been loved so deeply"

Book Review “The Healing Path: How the Hurts in Your Past Can Lead You to a More Abundant Life”Dan B. Allender. Colorado Springs, CO: WaterBrook Press, 1999, 259 p.

Overview—Give a brief overview of the book, including its theme, perspective and approach.

Through case study stories, first person reflections, and philosophic musings, Dan Allendar seeks to guide the reader to a place where he can see the hand of God in the hard places of life. "The Healing Path" is shaped around the Biblical triad of Faith, Hope and Love. Betrayal, powerlessness, and ambivalence lead to the loss of these virtues. The allure of redemption, however, is that God can use my past to awaken these virtues again. Allendar concludes with a section on how to bring the healing path into relationships and into the Christian community.

Critique—Offer a brief critique of the book, including elements of strength and weakness.

The "Healing Path" could have been called "The Honesty Path" for much of Dr. Allendars prescription lies in facing boldly the past pain in your life. I must admit I had a hard time wrapping my mind around this book. I found the use of evocative metaphors ("Who are we? We are the rivulets from many high-mountain springs that merge into a fuller stream rushing down the tumult of a rushing river"?) did not evoke anything in me. I need something more concrete. I kept looking for rubber-meets-the-road practical guidance. And though he shared some very powerful stories from past clients (and finally, one from his own life), I found it hard to relate to his heart-wrenching house hunting trauma!

Application—Offer some specific application to your own ministry— demonstrating the value and relevance of the material in this book.

Allendar was at his most helpful when uncovering the idols of the heart that lie behind many of our struggles. And when I was about to write the book off, he hit me with his chapter of "Inviting Others to Live". In that chapter, Allendar shares a story of an airplane conversation with an electrical engineer that was full of pathos and nerve. If I could learn to courageously probe and interact like that, I would be a better pastor and a better friend. I was challenged to "enter into the stories of others in a way that invites them to embrace the hunger of their heart (dignity) and their flight from God (depravity)".

Best Quote—Be sure to include the page number where the quote can be found.

p. 20 "Each day we either live for God or for other Gods. In each moment of hardship we fear God or man. When we choose to worship gods and fear men our lives will suffer an emptiness and turmoil that is not much different that trying to fill our bellies with dirt. At first we may feel full. But in short order our violation of God's plan will lead to torment"

Book Review: “Spiritual Mentoring: A Guide for Seeking and Giving Direction” by Keith R. Anderson and Randy D. Reese. InterVarsity Press, 1999, 191 p.

Overview—Give a brief overview of the book, including its theme, perspective and approach.

"Spiritual Mentoring" offers the reader a guide to giving spiritual direction that is both contemplative/meditative and hands-on practical. Anderson and Reese draw from ancient guides (Augustine, Aelred of Rievaulx, John of the Cross, Julian of Norwich, Ignatius of Loyola, Teresa of Avila, and Madame Jeanne Guyon) as guides to the stages of spiritual direction: Attraction, Relationship, Responsiveness, Accountability, and Empowerment. Interspersed with first person mentoring accounts, "Spiritual Mentoring" not a history of spiritual direction but a field guide to contemporary practice.

Critique—Offer a brief critique of the book, including elements of strength and weakness.

I've got to say that "Spiritual Mentoring" was one of the best books I've read in a while. Talk of "making disciples" often runs the risk of a manufactured, cookie-cutter spirituality. Anderson and Reese take the best of historical traditions (yes, with specific exercises and disciplines) and weave sensitivity to the unique work of God in the individual "mentoree". The blending of ancient and contemporary voices in one very nicely presented compendium on spiritual direction is a definite strength! One the other hand, I was left wondering at some of the particular theological proclivities of the Ancients that may modern day protestant would find incompatible with a reformed world-view.

Application—Offer some specific application to your own ministry— demonstrating the value and relevance of the material in this book.

The chapter on "Developing Trust and Intimacy" was a challenge to become a person of transparency and vulnerability. The insights into essential functions for developing friendship and hospitality were probing and practical. Holy Listening, Holy Seeing, and Wholly Listening are ways to apply the truth that spirituality is learning to pay attention to the presence of God in everything. And the "questions for reflection" in every chapter were enough to fuel deep level conversations for hours.

Best Quote—Be sure to include the page number where the quote can be found.

p. 129 "On the sailboat, the disciplines necessary to catch the wind are never seen as onerous tasks or empty rituals of work unless one dislikes sailing or forgets the purposes of life on board the boat. The rituals of getting a boat ready to sail are the equivalent of the spiritual disciplines we will describe throughout this chapter – they are the practices necessary to catch the wind of the Holy Spirit. We excersize such disciplines to make it possible for the winds to blow into the sails of our lives."

Book Review: The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives, Peter Scazzero & Warren Bird. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003, 223 p.

Overview—Give a brief overview of the book, including its theme, perspective and approach.

Through a very painful season as a pastor and a husband, Peter Scazzero discovered how emotionally unhealthy he and his church were. He writes "The Emotionally Healthy Church" from his journey to emotional health himself. He urges contemporary Christians to look beneath the surface at their emotional life, understand how our pasts affect us and break from its power, live in brokenness and vulnerability, construct healthy boundaries by receiving the gift of limits, embrace grieving and loss rather than suppressing it, and making the incarnation of Christ our model for loving well.

Critique—Offer a brief critique of the book, including elements of strength and weakness.

Scazzero is honest, painfully so at times. But his personal stories and the stories of those in his church put flesh on his principles and allow the reader to enter into their lives. I found myself agreeing with most of Scazzero's points and seeing myself in some of his anecdotes! His strengths lie in his real world experience and his desire to integrate Biblical truth with contemplative introspection.

Application—Offer some specific application to your own ministry— demonstrating the value and relevance of the material in this book.

At a recent function I was sitting with a group of college students who asked me what I was reading. I explained the principles of the book to them and asked them the questions in Scazzero's "Emotional/Spiritual Health Inventory". They were fascinated. The interaction could have gone on for hours! So I see a hunger for a deeper emotional and spiritual pilgrimage. Scazzero's book offers many sign posts for the journey. His chapter on living incarnationally has many simple tools for entering other's worlds through conversation and interaction. Personally the chapter on "going deeper" was the most probing. Simply developing an awareness of how I am feeling at any given moment and then asking "why am I feeling this way?" is easier said than done!

Best Quote—Be sure to include the page number where the quote can be found.

p.50 "I believe the thesis of this book – that emotional health and spiritual health are inseparable – will amount to Copernican revolution for many in the Christian community. It is not possible for a Christian to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature."

Book Review: “The Pornography Trap: Setting Pastors and Laypersons Free from Sexual Addiction” By Mark Laaser and Ralph Earle. Kansas City, KS: Beacon Hill, 2002, 144 p.

Overview—Give a brief overview of the book, including its theme, perspective and approach.

Pornography may be the least discussed and yet most pervasive addiction in our culture. Laaser and Earle suggest that not only are Christians (and especially pastors!) not immune, but may be even more susceptible to this malady because of our fear to "air it out" in the church. In "The Pornography Trap" the authors delve into the causes of pornography addiction asking why pastors are particularly vulnerable. They then turn to the path of spiritual healing by addressing the physical, behavioral, emotional, and relational dimensions of the struggle.

Critique—Offer a brief critique of the book, including elements of strength and weakness.

Laaser and Earle are to be commended for broaching a very sensitive subject. They do so with practicality and grace. Pornography addiction is not going to be broken by sheer will power, so the authors look into the many dimensions of the issue so that it might be addressed in a holistic way. I was especially intrigued with the discussion of the physical dimensions of pornography addictions. However, this section was far too lean on research and documentation. One glaring omission from the "spiritual healing" chapter was a focus on healthy inward repentance and a turning Godward to find the "pleasures at his right hand". What will dislodge the hold of pornography than a more powerful desire?

Application—Offer some specific application to your own ministry— demonstrating the value and relevance of the material in this book.

"The Pornography Trap" is very practical in its approach. I can see myself using many of the tools the authors suggest, from exploring family of origin issues to tests for couple intimacy. The seven principles of accountability articulated in "The Behavioral Dimension" was the most complete account I have encountered so far. Laaser and Earle also offered many suggestions to help people explore trauma reactions and past victimizations. In this way, "The Pornography Trap" will serve well as a handy resource book.

Best Quote—Be sure to include the page number where the quote can be found.

p.96 "Pornography creates sexual isolation. Intimacy is about revealing yourself emotionally to another. Manipulation and intimacy do not go together. Intimacy is never about finding pleasure by looking at another person or fantasizing outside of a healthy relationship. One major challenge with pornography is that its desire leads us away from intimacy to what becomes a need for new types of experiences."

Book Review: “Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave”, Edward T. Welch, Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2001, 299p

Overview—Give a brief overview of the book, including its theme, perspective and approach.

In this book Ed Welch seeks to address addictions of all kinds. He sees addictions coming in different forms from the obvious (alcohol, cocaine, pornography, gambling) to the more subtle (exercise, people, success/winning). His desire is to think theologically about addictions. He first looks at the roots and causes of addictions and then he turns the questions of dealing practically with addictions. His approach integrates insights from psychology, sociology, addiction therapy, but most of all he seeks to begin with Scripture.

Critique—Offer a brief critique of the book, including elements of strength and weakness.

Welch is not the most creative writer I have encountered. But he proceeds in a workman-like way, capably addressing the issues. He is strongest when looking at the spiritual roots of addictions. He suggests that addiction problems are worship disorders – we have set our affections on things other than God and these things have become idols in our lives. The solution is to seek the one who has "pleasures at his right hand" (Ps.16:11). He reviews AA approaches favorable, yet with strong cautions that our "higher power" must be the one living and true God, and that AA Meetings must not replace the Body of Christ. The book could have benefited greatly from case study examples of those who have found freedom through his ministry and approach. He includes bits of "dialogue" but they seem to be contrived to make the point. Having said that, no other book I have read seeks to be as relentlessly Biblical.

Application—Offer some specific application to your own ministry— demonstrating the value and relevance of the material in this book.

The greatest value of the book was in evaluating the idols of my own heart. We all have addictions of some kind and they will not be defeated without "the expulsive power of a new affection". I was challenged in the persistent pursuit of truth in dealing with addictions, whether my own or those to whom I pastor. His chapter on "Respecting, Listening, and Inviting" was a call to deal gently and compassionately with those struggling. And I was greatly encouraged to create an environment in the church where dealing with addictions can take place in a Christ-centered, Church-centered, Gospel-centered environment.

Best Quote—Be sure to include the page number where the quote can be found.

p.35, "Addiction is bondage to the rule of a substance, activity, or state of mind, which then becomes the center of life, defending itself from the truth so that even bad consequences don't bring repentance, and leading to further estrangement from God"